Miami Dolphins Loses a Fan.

As a Miami native I am required to be a Miami Dolphin fan. However, they are not making it easy.

Recently Miami cut their top rated field goal kicker and top rated punter and decided untested, undrafted rookies were cheaper.

That is certainly how Steven Ross, the owner  of the Dolphins runs his global real estate company. Money matters, period.  But that is not how you run a team that requires the support of the local fans.

I don’t mind cutting a player that isn’t playing well. But cutting a player because he is playing well and you have to pay them is unethical. But then again, we are talking corporate football, right?

It seems Steve Ross and his management team only care about money and those who have tons of it. I actually had my Personal Miami Dolphin Advisor call my cell phone last week. I guess they got my name and number from me signing up to visit training camp. (To watch practice, not try out!)  He asked me when the last time was that I attended a game. I told him when the stadium was legally called Joe Robbie Stadium. That be a long time ago.

The cheapest ticket I could find today  on the Dolphin site is $65 bucks. I think that seat is behind the men’s east urinals. And it is on a day the Fins don’t play.

The average price seems to be between $120 and $500. I see many at $300. For a freaking seat at a football game?

Seriously, in this economy, who can afford to attend the games, especially when the Dolphins could not give a rat’s ass about the fans?  Well, regular fans anyway. You have to figure if someone goes to the game he or she will bring at least one or two other people, right? Spouse, kids, etc. So, at $150 a ticket you are over half a grand just for the seats! Add in parking, refreshments and so forth, and you are dropping over a thousand dollars for a game!

I guess if I went with another friend, both of us paying our own way it wouldn’t  be that much. If we got the cheapo urinal seats. But I doubt anyone can get in and out for less than a couple of bills.

Just to watch some multi millionaires give each other concussions….

Football is a corporate business. I guess it always was to a degree, but man, it sure is cold hearted money oriented now.

I hope that we play teams this year that have picked up these kickers and I hope each of them contribute to the Miami Rossettes losing games.

My two cents.
Not available in Iowa.


Windows Won’t Update Problem

My Windows 7 Desktop has become independent lately and maybe even rude. For a week now it has refused to update. Maybe its had its fill of Microsoft? Maybe it doesn’t like the particular updates Microsoft has assigned it to download? Or, what may be more likely, Windows 7 has flipped out and lost its marbles. It truly is a couple of packets short of an upgrade.

Thankfully we are talking about Microsoft, one of the largest companies in the known universe and the word is they have been messing around with windows for some time. In fact, I hear it is one of their primary products! They probably have a solution to this minor irritant.

Well, if you use the word “Probably” as in “Probably I am winning the lotto tonight” you could be correct.

It turns out there are more than one or two issues that could cause your otherwise sane computer to refuse to socialize with Microsoft. Actually, last count was 11,527 issues including one having to do with your mother-in-law. Did you know that if the clock on your computer is different than the clock Microsoft has it won’t let Windows update? If your clock is off a few minutes that is OK, but if it is off by many days or even years, then Windows won’t update. They will instead download every single update this side of Neptune and seventeen days later attempt to install them.  After it gets to the very, very end, it then says “Crap! I can’t update this!” And then proceeds to reverse whatever it did. This too can take days or months.

Oh, but it will give you a clear explanation of the problem. Such as:

Error Code 872092%213#_dog_nose11!

Which I think means your computer’s clock is off. It could have just said that, but where would the fun be in that?

If you don’t have every Microsoft error code memorized yet, then you simply click on the help button associated with the code and boom! There ya are, at a list of a thousand error codes, some not as simple and clear as that one. Just read the vague explanations which all seem the same unless you read them very carefully after downing three vodka shots. (Important, no olives!).

In fact, before you even try to fix your Windows, you should consume a vast quantity of liquor.

Some of the other items that could possibly, maybe, cause your Windows to not update include:

  • Malware.
  • Viruses
  • Trojans. (Not the condoms, but then again, check that too!
  • Your Web Proxy not set up to communicate with port 8080.
  • Device drivers out of  date.
  • Device drivers dating your hard drive.
  • Your anti-virus software correctly identified Windows as a virus and attempted to erase it.
  • Your registry is corrupt so decided to run for office.
  • Your disk drive has bad sectors
  • Your baby packed peanut butter into your USB ports
  • Not consuming a sufficient quantity of liquor.

Now let’s talk solutions. Do you want the long version or the short version?

Long Version: Follow Microsoft’s instructions and attempt to complete 172 different tasks including restore points, disk fixing software and maybe condoms. To complete all of these tasks will take you at least a week, assuming you are too intoxicated to go to your job and you work on this every day, all day.  After a week of this, you beat your computer to death with a hammer, drag it out back and toss the pieces over the back fence into your cranky neighbor’s yard.

Short Version: Beat your computer to death with a hammer, drag it out back and toss the pieces over the back fence into your cranky neighbor’s yard.

This helpful article written as a public service. No live ducks were injured in this production.




Wynwood & a $1,400 Louis Vuitton purse

This story I think might be the poster story to represent Miami. It is that stupid.

The story in a nutshell is that on July 7th 2015  a young rich white girl was strolling through the Wynwood area of Miami with a friend along Northwest 26th Street and Third Avenue when she was approached by a 15 year old black female who  tried to steal the young woman’s  Louis Vuitton purse worth $1,400. The young woman refused to let go of her purse and video captured her being dragged all over the parking lot like a rag doll in a Doberman’s grasp before the thief jumped in a waiting car and fled, without the purse. Local media played the video all day and all night to boost their ratings.

The real story? Glad that you asked. Wynwood is a fancy high end artsy district built in the middle of one of Miami’s worse slums. Shopping, fine food, art galleries, clubs. Yet, you walk one block out of this district and you have areas the police hesitate to enter. But the social rules in Miami is to hype the area as a new hip place to be seen.  No one tells unsuspecting tourist that you need to exercise caution as you carefully enter and leave the “green zone”,

So, that is the first thing that irks me.  Instead of addressing real problems such as lack of education, gangs, poverty, unemployment, etc., we just agree to ignore it.  If we say something enough times it becomes true, right?

A $1,400 purse!!!!??? What the hell? People a few bocks from Wynwood don’t earn that much in six months, and over one third of the world has little food and water, and this young white girl is walking about with a $1,400 purse!!??  What the hell does a $1400 purse do? For that price it better do more than hold makeup and loose change. It should be able to rotate your tires and make you a damn good sandwich!

There are so many shades of stupidity involved in this story that I just can’t grasp them all.

But the video is still online with local media and will be for many days to come.

Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary.




Police Provoking People!

More protests and chants of Black Lives Matter in St Louis after police serving a warrant saw two armed men flee from the rear of the house and after telling them to stop, one of them turned and pointed a gun at the police, who promptly killed him. The house was pretty notorious and this was not the first search warrant served there. Crack and guns were confiscated.  Instead of the neighbors being relieved that the police have taken several armed violent criminals off their street, they were pissed that the police “provoked” the situation, and did not consider how to “de-escalate” the situation.

“Another youth down by the hands of police,” Dex Dockett, 42, who lives nearby, told a reporter. “What could have been done different to de-escalate rather than escalate?”

“They provoked the situation,” Price, 33, said. “Situations like this make us want to keep the police out of the neighborhood.”

I guess when the police saw the two armed known criminals fleeing, they could have waved at them and shouted, “OK, we’ll see you next time! Have a great day guys!”

Or, when the one stopped and aimed a gun at them they could have tossed their own guns to the ground and then ran away. It is still possible they could have been killed, but there is a chance the situation could have been de-escalated.

Of course, if police stopped serving warrants on criminals and showing up at their home with guns and badges, all designed to provoke them, I am sure the neighbors would be much happier. Forget that there have been robberies and murders on that same street over the last couple of weeks. In fact, one 93 year old black man was car jacked recently.  But I figure he must have done something to provoke these good citizens, right?