Technology Gone Awry
 
My wife called and asked me for a phone number. I had recently rebuilt my desktop, bringing it back from dead, installing a third hard drive, completing a total system recovery, etc. So, my address book was lost somewhere. It’s on one of the various backup CDs around here somewhere.  I got back-ups of my back-up CDs. Just can’t find them.
 
So, I reached for my Palm handheld. Dead. Battery crashed.
 
I tried information – 411. A machine’s voice asks to hear my requests. I burp and get a number in Canada. Give me a freakin break. I want a damn human being!!!!  The mechanical voice keeps asking me for a town, I tell them the town. She thinks I said Broken Pines Fuji or something. I finally curse into the phone and hit the zero button a dozen times. Eventually I get a human, who quickly sends me to the recording of the number. I try to memorize the number. I’m not good with numbers. I can remember April 19, 1775 was the shot heard ’round the world, (Start of the American Revolution) but I can hardly get my own street address correct. So, that was a lost cause.
 
After fifteen minutes of searching the house I find the number.
 
You know what I did next? Are you ready for this? Me, who owns two desktop computers, (One disassembled unde rmy desk.) three PDAs, a laptop, who set up his own Wi-FI, and has a wrist watch that can make coffee if I hit enough buttons……you wanna know what I done did?
 
I wrote down all my phone numbers, from my daughter’s cell phone to my dentist to whoever. I printed them out real small, and taped the list to one of my business cards. Now, anytime I need a phone number I have it right there, on my ass. In my right rear pocket. No programs to worry about. No batteries.
 
Amazing.

I’m over 50 years young. Don’t need shit like this anymore. Need to keep things simple now. No patience any more.