During the last 365 days of 2004, I spent a tremendous amount of time worrying about things that never transpired. What a waste of living time. For 2005, I plan on not worrying about things that A) I have no control over and B) Haven’t occurred yet.

I’m going to focus on the fact that every person has a soul, and that souls are neither male nor female, and are the same color, and have the same Father in Heaven. Every soul is a creation of God. Souls have no sex or race or politics. No nationality. Souls are just temporarily driving these skin sacks around until they move to the next level of existence. I’m not going to see a Haitian or an Irishman or a white guy or a young or old person. I am going to see a Soul, created by God.

I’m going to be nicer to people, especially those people who annoy the crap out of me.

I am still going to think lawyers are scum. Sorry, some realities I can’t change.

I will take every opportunity in 2005 to laugh.

I will listen more, and speak less.

I will realize that I am as much of an asshole as those people I rant about. And I will give them the grace that God gives me.

I will live more in the moment, and less in the future.

I will not tease those people who take life or work far too seriously.

I will do more, and plan less.

I will pet more dogs, and play with more cats, and speak Chinese to very small children.

I will realize that in reality I have no control over anything or any people. I will accept that, and accept life as it is, not the way I think it is suppose to be.

I will listen to people who have a totally different view of life and the world, even if they are full of crap.

I will admit that I am wrong when I am wrong.

I will read the bible more. I will pray more, and when I do pray, I will give thanks more often than I ask for things.

And, when I pray and ask for things, I will ask for God’s will, not mine.

I will give thanks every day that God became man in the form of Jesus Christ, suffered as we do, and died on the cross for all of my sins; past, present and future. I will realize more that it is God’s work on the cross that saves me, not the silly things I try to do on this earth. I will be thankful every day for God’s grace, and that all I had to do is accept Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, and my future was sealed.  And that once saved by the grace of God, I can never, ever lose that salvation.

I will remember more that since I belong to Christ, I have more responsibilities to reflect His love that is within me. Even if that means being less cranky…

I will realize that every personl must find God in their own way, and that I cannot force my faith onto anyone.  I will respect everyone’s right to hold any religious view, or even to believe in no God.

Happy New Year to everyone. May the pure love of God shine on you and yours throughout this coming year.

May each of you find Peace. The real peace of Christ.

December 31, 2004 11:32 PM

OK people, time for a lesson on parking your car. First
rule, parking your car is not like playing horse shoes, where close counts. You
don’t get partial points if at least one tire is within the lines. You gotta
get the entire vehicle BETWEEN the white lines. No, parking your piece of crap
car sideways blocking two parking spaces does not give you extra points. It
does however; raise your level of selfishness and stupidity to groundhog level.

 It is beyond me how people have forgotten how to park.
Granted, many shopping centers and office complexes have gone to narrower
parking spaces. But still, how difficult is it? Sure, if you own one of those
moving buildings called an SUV (Stupid Useless Vehicles as my father-in-law calls
them) I can understand that. But let’s face it, if you’ve purchased a vehicle
that is better equipped and designed than most artic exploration vehicles, then
you have the brains and civility of a fat old short-beaked echidna! C’mon, you
have an amphibious assault vehicle and you drive it to the mall for shoe laces?
You should be face slapped with Rosanne Barr’s flip flops!

 Most of the rest of us, even those with normal sized SUVs,
vans and pick-up trucks, should be able to park our car the first try.
Occasionally, if there is a shopping cart or fat women in your way, two tries.
But it appears, at least in South Florida,
that people just don’t give a crap about parking right. They just slide close
to a parking space, cut the engine, dive out,  tuck and rolling,  and let the vehicle settle where it may.

 If everyone parked properly, there would be order in the
parking lot, world hunger would be defeated, and reality shows would finally be
banned from television.

Next thing that burns my ass is those freakin idiots who
wait for ten minutes for a “closer” spot to become available. They idle their
cars blocking the flow of traffic only to get a spot maybe five cars closer to
the door of the mall, where they will be walking about for two to three hours!
What the hell difference does fifteen stinking feet make you morons?!

 These are the same dimwitted useless pieces of crap people
who will beep their horn the second you get inside your car, trying to hurry
you up so they can grab your spot. Every time that happens to me, I flip the
seat all the way back and take a nap. They can beep their horn until the cows
come home. But, the second they move on, I’m pulling out and letting someone
else get the spot.

 Some other parking lot behavior that drives me nuts includes
those idiots who park their car along the curb in the fire lane in front of the
store. There are a hundred open parking slots, but hey, I’m special, I’m gonna
park in the fire lane! Of course, those
people who do that always say there isn’t a fire, so it’s OK. But you know, why
are YOU so special? Why can’t ALL of us park there?

 Last but not least, is the king of them all, the eye-booger
eating fatheads who, during heavy rainstorms,  drive their car all the way up on the sidewalk
right up to the store’s doors, so that their passenger, usually their wife or
husband, can load all the groceries into the vehicle without getting wet. Of
course, driving fully onto sidewalks and half entering a store is considered
rude, stupid and dangerous, but they don’t care. In South
Florida in Summer we get so much rain that stores now rush out
there at the first sign of clouds and put cones up warning idiots to not park
their cars in the store! Truly, I kid you not.

Of course, I do live in South Florida,
which if you look at the map is at the bottom of the country. Shake the map,
and anything loose will fall down to the tip of Florida.

‘Nuff said

Hmmmm…maybe we need what the Japanese have – Intelligent Parking Assistant. They have it in Japan, and it is a computer that parks your car for you! Here is an article about it.

Peace out People, and for God’s sake learn to park your car!

Aninamation from here.

The City of Pembroke  Pines is well known as tree killers. The “elected representatives” of the city have long had a policy of mowing over every piece of nature in order to erect strip malls, shopping centers, gas stations, office condos, zero lot line housing and so forth. They are at it again.

There is a beautiful patch of land alongside a lake on Taft Street that used to be the old town hall. That is,  before city officials started counting campaign donations instead of citizen votes, and built themselves a huge monstrosity of a city hall on Pines Blvd. (After destroying more trees and grass.)

The haven’t used this old one story structure in years, so they knocked it down. Now, they are left with a small patch of nature. What to do with it?

Interesting enough, one City Commissioner wants to make it into a nice park!

City
Commissioner William Armstrong would like to see the site turned into a
passive park. The city could put in shrubbery, install a bench or two
and perhaps a gazebo, he said.

Holy Crap Batman, a politician that wants a park? He must be trying to use reverse psychology on us, or maybe he is holding back his vote for more money from the real estate developers. However, I’ll give Mr. Armstrong the benefit of the doubt and claim him the Hero in this story.

The  Bad Guy?

Vice Mayor Ben Fiorendino suggested that the land be developed.

“I think we are losing some valuable real estate,” he said. “I think a beautiful, upscale office building would be great.”

I think Ben’s definition of “value” is skewed. Apparently his only definition of value is in terms of dollars. No doubt, dollars in his fat pocket. (Hey, this is a blog, I’m allowed to express my rude and unproven views.)

Did he actually use the word “beautiful” to describe an office building????!!!

Let’s try an experiment:  On the left side of your mind, create an image of a park. A carpet of green grass. Shady trees with outstretched branches. Bushes, flowers, butterflies and birds, all resting alongside a blue lake.

OK, now, on the other side of your mind, plant a five story concrete slab, and surround it with a gray slab of a parking lot filled with cars.

OK, which version defines “Beautiful” to you?

I think most voting citizens of Pembroke Pines would opt for the park. I think most ferret-faced baboon-assed real estate developers would vote for the concrete slab.  The vote would be something like 100,000 to 5,000. Oh, forgive me! I forgot, our “elected representatives” in South Florida count Dollars, not votes! In that case, the citizens lose, and the greedy scum sucking sacks of crap known as real estate developers and their bought and paid for politicians win.

Maybe City Commissioner Armstrong is serious about the park. Maybe he will lead the charge and save us from yet another ugly slab of concrete!.

Meanwhile, the article in the Sun-Sentinel is right here.

A beautiful park, or yet another concrete slab? Which will win?

This is Pembroke Pines,  AKA “Strip Mall USA”.

I’m not optimistic.

I thought about writing about the US Prison System, or
poverty, or how Bush is destroying the higher education financial aid system,
but then I ran across this pen. Holy Crap, this is awesome. Awesomely funny
that is. I was cruising the Circuit City website SEEING WHAT
MY $50 GIFT CARD THAT MY WIFE GAVE ME WOULD GET ME.

Dammit! I HATE it when the stinking caps lock key accidentally pops up, and
I’ve written an entire sentence or more, only to look up and see me screaming
on the page in all capital letters!. You know, they need to create new
keyboards. First, the Caps lock key should be way over on the right side, on
the OTHER side of the number pad! In fact, I would be happy if they put that
stinking sucker out of the key lineup, up on top of the keyboard, away from
everything. In fact, maybe they need to built a cone around it and paint the
damn thing red with a protective flip cover, you know, like missile launch
buttons in the movies. That way, the only stinking time the stinking damn caps
lock key will be activated is when I purposely activate it.

On most keyboards, the stupid caps lock key is right next to the letter
"A". C’mon, that letter is in a lot of words, you know? I doubt that
I could write a sentence without hitting the "A" key at least once! (Three
times in that sentence!) And, since I am not a touch typist, I stare at the
keyboard as I write. I only use the first two fingers on each hand, but I can
type 60 correct words per minute! So long as I don’t hit the lousy stinking
rotten commie Caps lock key!

I wonder if I can purchase a keyboard that has an alarm rigged to the caps lock
key? When you hit it, a siren goes off and a voice comes out of the speaker
shouting, "Hey dude, did you want the lousy all cap key on, ’cause you are
typing like crazy and everything is in all caps!"

I’ve been typing since I was 12 years old. Started out on an all manual metal
typewriter, and Underwood. Non-electric. Weighed more than most boat anchors.
And by golly, there was no "touch" typing in those days my friends!
There was "Stomp Typing" because you had to slam your full force and
strength of your finger into those keys to even get them to start moving!

So, to get the caps lock key activated on those, you had to actually hold two
keys down, which meant sometimes you had to have help. One person stomping one
key down, and me bracing my feet against the wall to press the other one. Ya
never hit the caps lock key accidentally then, I’ll tell ya that.

But today, keyboards are cheap light plastic, close together, with hardly any
key movement. One fat finger slipping off the "A" key rubbing slightly the caps lock key, and YOU WIND UP
YELLING AT PEOPLE LIKE THIS!!!!

Anyway, that was not my original theme when I logged in tonight. I am writing
about a wonderful pen I saw on the Circuit City website. It is a
Nexxtech Massage Pen. I have seen pens that also served as a PDA stylist. Or
laser light pointer. Or flashlight. But a pen that also massages??? What the
????

What is it massaging? OK, don’t go there. Just don’t go there. This here is a
clean blog, kind of.

I was about to skip right off that page on to something realistic, when I saw
there were reader reviews. I had to read them ! One wrote the following:

Very affordible pen…plus the message feature
is great! My wife loves it….. i find her taking it to work with her all the
time….once again, nice massager just dont let your wife take it!! youll never
get it back!

OK buster, you might want to have a little
talk with your wife……

Another one said:

I used to go to a physical therapist until I
purchased this pen. It doesn’t just work on your fingers it works on your neck
and back too! I hardly even use a computer anymore, buy this pen!

OK, this pen replaced your therapist???? Any chance this was a mental health
therapist???

Here is one more:

I’m so glad to have found something I can use
dynamically even when I’m in the office. I can just place this to my pocket
when I’m done and just get it when I need it again.

What the hell is this idiot even talking about? How is he using this pen
"dynamically"???? And he has discovered that he can put the pen in
his pocket????

Either these are someones idea of a practical joke,  or there are some
really sick people out there.

Here is the link to the Circuit City pen page

Peace out PEOPLE!
(Dammit!)