I am collecting resumes for two open positions in my office. This is always entertaining. For anyone who is job seeking or preparing their resume, allow me to give you some real business world advice you won’t get from those muskrat folks in HR. I wish the three dozen applicants whose resumes I reviewed today had followed my advice!

Tip #1. If you are using a template from MS Word or somewhere else, the words at the top of the page that read “YOUR NAME” should be erased, and you should actually type your name there!

Tip # 2. Have someone proof read your resume. Anyone. Your child. Your dog, a passing vagrant! Nothing disqualifies you faster than grossly misspelled words, missing words, or sentences that actually don’t make sense! And I’m not talking about easy mistakes like using “to” instead of “too.” I’m talking about flat out gross misspellings! There is this neat new invention called ……spell check! Try it.

Tip # 3. Unless you are applying for Director of NOAA or Dean of the Harvard Law School, keep your resume to one page. Whenever any company advertises for employees they usually are inundated with hundreds of resumes. Do you really think someone is sitting there doing nothing but reading every word of every resume that comes in the sack of mail every day? Not likely my friends, not remotely likely.

Tip #4. Since you are only going to utilize one page, dump all the crap. You can start with the objective. I could not give a Hari Christnas’s ass hankie what HR “pros” advise you! An objective on a resume is as useful as tits on a bull. In fact, worse! The fact that you sent your resume in kind of identifies your objective, doesn’t it? You want the job! Most people do one of two things with their objective statement. Either they write a bunch of flowering Miss America I want peace for all mankind bull crap, or they put a statement that automatically disqualifies them from the running. Just skip the objective.

Tip # 5. Next to the objective is the personal statement, or statement of qualifications or whatever idiotic thing you call this section of BS. It is where you write all those lies about being goal driven, multi-tasking, and can jump a tall building without a jock strap. It is all just your opinion, your hype! You could say you can walk on water and make Miamians driver on the right side of the road, but who is gonna believe ya? Wasted space. Dump it.

Tip # 6. Bottom line? List verifiable facts. Education. Positions held at what companies, for how long. Yes, write out some of the things you accomplished at those jobs, but please, aim them toward the job you are applying for. If you are applying for high rise window washer, don’t mention that you learned how to change diapers in 30 seconds as a nanny. Unless you are going to be doing that on the outside of the 77th floor window.

Tip # 7. Read the position requirements. If your education and experience isn’t at least a 75% match, don’t waste anyone’s time applying! If the job is helicopter traffic pilot with at least five years experience flying a traffic helicopter, don’t assume driving a school bus for one summer back in 1978 is going to be considered “transferable skills”. It ain’t.

Tip # 8. Unless you are applying for a position in an industry where they might utilize Apple computers, use MS Word. Don’t compress your resume, letter and references into a zipped file. Don’t use pictures, photos, colored backgrounds, or print your resume on the inside of a helium filled balloon. If you have to use tricks like that to get someone’s attention, you already lost the job.

Tip #9. If the instructions say to send your resume to “Frankie Leroy Smith”, don’t address your letter “To Whom it May Concern.” It just proves that you aren’t observant.

Tip #10. Don’t include any naked photos of your cat. I’m serious about that one.

It might help if you realized that a resume has just one purpose, and only one purpose – to get you an interview. Never “apply for the job” with your resume. You can do that at the interview. The resume’s only goal is to get someone to call you for an interview.

Hope this helps someone.

Peace out folks

You ever really feel like writing, but actually have nothing to say? Your finger tips itch to touch the keys, but don’t really care what the message is? I have that today. Just must type. Must put fingertips to keys and press.

It is Sunday morning; very still. Our back yard is full of birds and butterflies. A light shower just passed over, spraying big drops of rain for about five minutes. Water lazily slides off the green leaves to the fresh cut grass below. Blue Jays soar in from the blue to grab a peanut, then leap back into the sky.

Our cats are happy, playing with us. Coffee from a french press is warm and bold.

Time for prayer. Thanking God for such a comfortable Sunday.

Peace out my friends.

Let’s say there was someone out there who was seeking a religion. But this person wasn’t an emotional being, but logical. So, h/she would choose a religion based on features and benefits, and WIIFM (What’s in it for me). Just like they would choose a car by the quality, gas mileage, crash ratings, power, etc., they would do the same in this search.

What features and benefits would you look for? Me? These would be my top features:

1. Lots of evidence for it being real. No religion can offer solid proof, but the religion must be based on a sound foundation of truth. (This would rule out the Latter Day Saints (Mormons.) Their founder discovered beautiful solid gold scriptures and then lost them. Left them at the library, or on top of his car while he drove off to dinner, or the dog ate them. So, all we have here is this guy’s word. Not enough for me.

2. A loving God, who cares about everyone. If I’m a non-believer, and picking a religion, I want one that is about love. This would rule out much of Islam, since it appears that in this religion God loves the believer, and hates the unbeliever. As opposed to Christianity, where God loves every single person who was, is or will be born, including Hitler and Jack the Ripper, even attorneys and telemarketers!

3. Easy to join. Maybe it is me, but I don’t want a long process, where I have to attend indoctrination classes, learn secret hand shakes, and apply for admission. I like a simple quick decision and acceptance.

4. No special clothing. You know, I think those Amish folk look cool with their dark coats and hats, and no make up. Well, from a distance anyway. But sitting in a movie theatre is a real pain in the ass, as those hats really block the screen. Long beards are OK, but I prefer to pass anyway. I would rather be able to dress pretty normal.

5. Human rights. Yeah, I want a religion where everyone is free to work, drive, attend college, play bridge or watch reruns of Gilligan’s Island. (And yes, Mary Ann was the cutest!) This would be another mark against most of the Middle East and religions, as woman have virtually no rights in that faith. Granted, there are some Christian faiths that teach that men must be the head of the households, but the majority of mainstream Christianity still afford women equal rights. They don’t get beat with canes if they don’t cover their faces.

6. Cool Holidays. Granted, being an atheist you can enjoy a lot more holidays, even the former religious ones that have been distorted into capitalist events. But still, I want to be able to enjoy my holidays, and show my respect to the Father in heaven. Judaism and Christianity have cool holidays. Other faiths do too.

7. A useful instruction book. A bible should be useful in today’s world, and in each person’s daily life. I don’t want something that isn’t relevant. Most faiths have that sort of thing.

8. Heaven. I want to live. I don’t want to die here on this ball of dirt circling the sun. I want to have a sense of destiny beyond this world. If not, there isn’t much meaning in this world then. So, I want a heaven. A place with no pain, no misery, no worries. Maybe a place where the Miami Dolphins actually have a quarterback.

9. Easy entrance to Heaven. I don’t want a complicated process. If God put me here, and He has a plan, then I want Him to have an easy simple plan for me to get into Heaven.

10. Miracles. Yeah, if I am going to pick a religion, I’m gonna pick one where there are miracles.

I choose Christianity:

One of the oldest and certainly the most documented faiths ever.

The faith that has been attacked more times than all other faiths and philosophies put
together – yet endures stronger than ever.

A God who loves everyone. Believer and non-believer.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that who ever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13

Easy to join. In your own words, talk to God and accept His Son Jesus Christ; commit yourself to Christ.

Easy to stay “Saved”. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8

Miracles? You want miracles? How about a virgin birth? How about dozens of healings? How about walking on water? No other character in any other religion has these miracles. And the most important one? Rising from the dead. Tell me one person in any religion that has God becoming man, walking among us, and then dying on the cross for us. The single most powerful demonstration of God’s love for all of us. Wow. What other religion has this much power?

There is no one in all of history that can even remotely compare to Jesus Christ. Not one.

Of course, the reality is we don’t want to choose a religion. We want to choose a faith. Religion complicates a very simple fact. God loves us. Jesus Christ saves us.

I choose faith alone, in Christ alone.

No other answer is logical.

Peace out.

OK, we can get anything, and I mean just about anything delivered for dinner. Pizza, ribs, chicken, Chinese, Italian, oriental, Argentinean, you name it. But what the heck about breakfast, eh? This is the photo I want to see – a Breakfast Delivery truck.

The way I see it in my fantasy land, entire squadrons of these trucks fan out across the suburbs before sunrise, all radio controlled through a dispatcher. They have one driver, one waitress and one cook inside. And a full kitchen! They are frying up fresh eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and plenty of strong coffee as they drive. I would sit on my patio with my beautiful and lovely wife, watching the birds and butterflies awake, while I order via phone or internet. Immediately, the Breakfast Truck Dispatcher notifies the closest available Breakfast Truck, and they head to my house, while the cook prepares breakfast. Just as the cook dings the bell indicating the food is ready, they pull up into my driveway and the scantily clad waitress grabs the food and walks it up my sidewalk. I pay, tip large, and my wife and I enjoy a peaceful breakfast on our screened in patio without ever having to actually put daytime clothes on and leave the house.

Ahhh….somebody invent this please……

SCG