Well, the obvious first reason comes to mind. But besides that, I have to admit there are numerous reasons men need women. In fact, we need them a whole lot more than they need us. For instance, I was a single bachelor for ten years between my first and last marriage. (My wife tells me this is my last marriage, and I believe her.) While living alone in my house, if I dropped the ketchup bottle on the kitchen floor exactly 17 inches from the stove, I knew that without a doubt, next time I was looking for the ketchup, be it the next day or the next year, it would be exactly where I accidentally left it. 17 inches from the stove. On the floor.  Who needs that kind of consistency in their lives?

Today, I have no idea where the ketchup is. It isn’t on the floor, and it isn’t on the far right side of the second shelf in the fridge.  Women don’t understand the space time connection between ketchup and men. So, now I have to ask my wife where the ketchup is each time. This makes her feel worthy, and brings a sense of meaning to a women’s life, that they can be of such assistance to their man.

Back in the day, living alone with just the common lizard that also lived in my doorbell ringer, (Every time the doorbell rung he would stick his pointed head out and wave his front claws about trying to find his ears.) if I wanted to run a cat 5 cable from one side of the house to the other, well, a little duct tape and that sucker would be hanging from the ceiling in a New York minute.  In fact, when my wife moved into my house, she immediately upgraded my connection to wi-fi cable, so I didn’t need cables spewed all over the house.

Let’s face it men. If it weren’t for women, we would still be living in caves. Women are responsible for civilization.  It was a  cave woman who told her caveman that she wanted curtains for the windows. The caveman when “Ugh, what are windows?” or something like that. There weren’t any windows in the cave. So, first, he had to knock holes in the cave and create windows. Then he had to go out and invent all the processes that would lead to the creation of curtains. By that time, the woman wanted a better stove than just a pile of rocks in the corner of the cave. So, the rest is history.

Moon landings, microwaves, the NFL, computers and hair club for men. All of it we owe to women!

So, men, the next time you are sitting in your lazy boy chair drinking a micro brew watching the NFL on a flat screen TV the size of Montana, turn to your woman and say, “Hon, have you seen the ketchup?”

It will really make her day.

Peace out people.

SCG

I reported having issues with Microcrap’s Vista Disorienting System. Well, I found an OS that loads fast, is stable, doesn’t freeze all the time, and is compatable with all of Microsoft’s programs. Windows XP.

What a concept.

Can money buy happiness? According to this article at the Bankrate.com, it certainly can. Or, at least help a whole lot. Research indicates that if you can’t pay your bills or have savings as a safety net, you are going to report that you are a lot less happy than someone who doesn’t have those money issues. Hmmmmm….

Speaking of savings, have you seen the price of regular at the gas pumps? I saw $3.67 yesterday. I’ve been researching tips to get more mileage out of a tank of gas, and I’ve learned that one of the two best ways is to 1) Don’t run the AC and 2) Close your windows. I didn’t read any further.

I ran across this bit of advice somewhere in my Internet travels today.

There is no point in being negative, if you are not prepared to take action.

So, wait a minute…..moaning, groaning and whining about your troubles actually won’t improve your situation? Damn!

Well my friends, it is Monday. Those of us who are wage slaves must drag our butts and the rest of us out to the highway to battle other wage slaves on our way to our own respective stupid factories.

My wish for you today is that your Monday slides by like a ball bearing sliding down a playground slide coated with butter.

Peace.

SCG

I bought some more Publix reusable grocery bags today, so that I could stop taking plastic bags. I’ll like to say I did it for the environment, but mostly I did it because those bags are much larger and easier to carry than plastic crap. I had bought some months ago, but kept forgetting to use them. I must not have been alone in that, as Publix now gives you a sticker to place on the inside upper left corner of your windshield, you know,where the oil change reminder stickers go? It is a picture of their bright green bags and the words “bring bags”. That’s kind of cool. Of course, I worry about the plastic of the stickers, and if it took a few barrels of oil to make them, etc.

I do the grocery shopping in my house, because my wife hates doing it, and since I did it for a decade between marriages, I got to enjoy it. But I do need to go earlier than Sunday afternoon. I wish Publix would come up with special times for speed shoppers. I’m a speed shopper. I know exactly what I am purchasing, and exactly where the products are, and I am pushing that grocery cart about 40 miles an hour up and down the aisles. The problem is on late Sunday afternoons there are gawkers and talkers. The gawkers have no clue why or how they wound up inside a grocery store. They push their empty carts about slowly, staring intently at the products on the shelves as if they are trying to discern the meaning of life from hot dog buns. They are almost as bad as the talkers. These nice people have developed the idea that the best cell phone reception is to be obtained inside a grocery store. They are yapping into their cell phones and totally oblivious to their kid who just got a hot pepper stuck up his left nostril! Both the gawkers and talkers block the aisles, as they park their big butts and carts in the very center of the aisle.

Sometimes I have to say loudly, “Your other line is ringing!” in order to distract them enough to slide past them.

But, back to plastic bags versus reusable bags. I found this weird guy on Youtube who apparently has nothing better to do than to film a documentary about the two forms of grocery containers. Amazing what dorks are in the world, eh? Sounds like the idiot was trying to alter his voice too, and doing a very poor job of it.

So, I leave you with this weirdo and his Youtube documentary: Peace out people.

These flowers are a contrast in beauty and harshness. Just like real life, eh?