After a crazy day at work and the long 45 minute struggle through traffic and Florida DOT obstacles, I arrived in my neighborhood and stopped at a 7-11 store to buy three Mega Money lottery tickets. (Yes, I am on the Lottery Retirement Plan. I get to retire when I win the lottery!) I texted my wife to see what was for dinner. Apparently nothing, as usual, or more accurately, whatever I could find in the fridge or cabinets. My wife is beautiful and wonderful, but not Cuban. Cuban wives will always cook for her man, no matter what. He could be a mass monkey killer, a guy who steals bathroom tissue out of public restrooms and never worked a day in his life, and his Cuban wife will still cook him chicken and rice. I know Cuban woman who still cook for their ex-husbands. After the guy remarries!
Anyway, instead of playing food scavenger hunt, I grabbed a foot long Italian sub sandwich at 7-11 along with my three dollar investment in my retirement.
The sandwich contained Genoa salami, pepperoni, cheese and about 1400 other “ingredients” of which few I could pronounce. I think the label factory accidentally switched the sandwich ingredient label with the Syrian chemical weapons label.
Once home I opened up the foot long and tossed on some fresh tomatoes, onions, about a quart of mayo and a 15 second squirt of mustard. Bright yellow American mustard, none of that dark spicy weird liberal mustard. Lay down a layer of salt and black pepper and yum yum my taste buds were sprouting with joy.
It was about this time that I decided to read the label again in an attempt to discern exactly who made these sandwiches. Did 7-11 employees make them fresh daily? Did they buy them from a local company? I eventually found the very tiny writing that indicated that LSG Sky Chiefs of Orlando, Florida were responsible for putting these foot longs together, Two thoughts popped into my head as I wiped mayo and American yellow mustard off my moustache. First, the fact that Orlando is about 230 miles north. So, right away “fresh daily” was out of the question. The second thought was “Sky Chiefs”…..aren’t they the ones who provide airline food????
Well….yes. I visited their website and they sure do specialize in airline food.I saw nothing else even remotely related to providing food to convenience stores.
I just paid $5 dollars for a freaking stale airline sandwich??? A sandwich I would never buy even if locked in a metal tube 35,000 feet in the air with no other options?
Turns out the LSG in LSG Sky Chief stands for LSG Lufthansa Service Holding. I bought a German stale airline sandwich to boot!
Damn.
If anyone asks, I am telling them I was dizzy from the rush hour traffic.
Some Blogging Guy
